Innasense

2020-12-28 09:42 pm

Obsessions 

What power you hold over me...
Every action, every thought 
Is just a push in your direction 
Feeding into the obsessions, 
Lost connections, misdirections, 
Absolutely positively coerced into these affections 
By a brain constantly seeking tiny moments of perfection. 

Though you kind of must admire this curation of adoration, 
All the mental efforts required to keep up the constant cultivation 
Of this undisturbed fixation, 
The impropriety and distraction 
of a single-minded meditation, 
All these mind-numbing, pacing, 
clock-like rotations 
Theoretically leading this obsessive mind to pure elation, 
The uninhibited fruits 
of this persistent dedication. 
Happy sighs and exhalations...

But then...
The sobering realization 
That somehow life existed 
before this shrine’s erection
And perhaps the cracks start to show, 
Unexpected but apparent imperfections, 
Initially denied and resolutely rejected, 
The shattered shards of a crystal ball that disagrees with my projections, 
The deflation, depletion, extortion
Of my vexation, 
Maybe leading to complete and utter exoneration... 
The disintegration of my fascination. 
Maybe someday...

But for now I prefer to float in my comforting contemplations, 
Giving in to the infatuation, 
These happy delusions 
of my mind’s incarceration. 
And if the worst this should cause is 
These false exhilarations, 
Then I shall stay here for a while 
And enjoy the scintillating sensations 
Of my obsessive ruminations. 

A
Temporary
Salvation.