Innasense
2020-10-10 09:54 pm
Warning: this is looooooong and if you’re a sensitive individual the first parts may bother you. But hopefully the last part will inspire you. Speak your truths friends. The ones who matter will love you all the harder. #worldmentalhealthday Hidden Stories They smiled, jokingly told her she looked tired, “Must’ve partied hard last night.” Smile quietly returned, “just didn’t sleep too well I guess.” She didn’t tell them how hard it was to get out of bed this morning, How sleep never came last night, How it felt like the darkness would just swallow her whole, How she felt hollow and empty and there weren’t any tears left, just an ache deep within that wouldn’t subside. And maybe if she just squeezed her eyes shut and stayed in that bed in the blacked out void, She wouldn’t have to face another day of faked smiles and “I’m ok” lies. “Just tired today I guess.” “It’s warm today man!” “What’s with the long sleeves all the time?” “Got some crazy tattoos under there?” He smiled, laughed along with them, Self-consciously ran his hands over his wrists. Over the bandages binding his secrets. They didn’t know how close he got last night, how he almost let go, How so much blood, HIS blood swirled down the drain, mixing with his tears. He was sure no one would miss him, but he wondered if he would miss this world, And the good days out in the sun, Few and far between as they were. What would they say if he were gone tomorrow? “You should’ve come out with us last night. You would’ve had so much fun...” She nodded and made those “next time” promises, though she knew they were lies. She’d stay home again, Wrapped in the icy grips of loneliness, Which felt somehow better than her burning cheeks when the right words just wouldn’t come, or the wrong ones spilled out, and she felt their eyes on her, Panic rising, thoughts frozen Wishing she’d just stayed home, Away from the judgement, And all the wrong moves she always made “Haven’t seen you around in a while! Doing ok?” His mouth smiled, head nodded, lips formed words he’d said so often, automatic. Because, really, he thought, How could I describe that moment last night, body curled up with forehead cold against the kitchen floor, Ears covered to block out the voices, Silent screams wracking his body as the panic overwhelmed him, No breath to speak, And who could he call anyway, How would he explain these moments of pure fear that slipped in unnoticed and become everything, took everything, until he was a shivering shell of himself. Sometimes he wondered, if they could see through him, would they think him weak? Would they walk away...? These people are all make-believe, but the experiences are not, taken from articles and discussions and sometimes even revelations from real-life friends. These are not my stories, but they are someone’s truths, Not their weakness, Not their short-lived sadness that they can just “get over” if you try hard enough to make them happy. (My gosh do I need to remind myself of that part sometimes...) But that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Love them y’all. Love them so damn much that you’ll sometimes break through the cracks in their self-inflicted armor. Listen to them, Give them the chance to be open and honest, And if what they say makes you flinch, imagine what it must feel like for them. Do something kind that makes them smile and get ready to do it again tomorrow. Smile and laugh with them. Cry with them. Be genuine with your thoughts and feelings. Give them space, but check on them. Pull them out of the dark for just a moment, say, “I’m here for you when you need me. And I always will be.” Mental health issues are often invisible, but still feel debilitating to the one inside that head. Stay educated. Be understanding. Love the hell out of each other. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💗
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Innasense
2020-09-25 08:01 am
Throw back the covers on the incessant redundancy of another day. Putting in time for a world we no longer believe in, if ever we truly did. ...Them rose-tinted glasses were long-ago shattered... Our dedication repaid With more stolen hours Coming home with less time To spend with ourselves, Or perhaps those we purposely surround ourselves with, Than we’ll spend talking to ceiling tiles in the dark later on. Droning away the limited hours, The constant pull of a thumb , —Refreshing— Giving our ❤️s away In an opinionated match game Finger-fucking ourselves to sleep Just to say we felt alive Before succumbing to darkness With a see-you-later sayonara Whispered into black, Just like the onyx air pixels we’ll be counting later to lure heavy eyelids back into a much-too-finite slumber ...Or maybe the fluffy white bastards will do the trick Whatever helps you sleep at night... Next day, the inbox the same, Full of spam mail we unsubscribed to ages ago That somehow keeps rearing ugly heads, hydra-like with a pretty new name every time, to keep us believing in the possibility that this particular lovesick prince will be our salvation. DELETE to clear our foggy heads While trying to remember which ones are the liars. The mirage keeps on shifting. Repeat, repeat, World keeps on turning, pulling us along, A child’s toy on a string. But what if, for a moment, We turn away from from the unending axial spins, Sidestep the scythe again, seek out the sunrise... Find the beauty brave souls! Crack open that Earth-shaped geode and search out the wild world within And you know what... Go buy you a new pair of those pretty pink shades
Gord
2020-09-22 04:26 pm
Some composers write bland forever, Passionate sellers, mechanical components, Bad poem after bad poem; Best service as archers than soldiers, Philanthropists of the moment, Amateur poet of farmers knowledge, Larger wage, cannabis smoker; Boxer of drama, reading poems and novels, Softer and lower, he sees darkness;
Innasense
2020-09-20 08:33 am
Third time was the charm A tormented soul bled out Life worth loving, lost Lonely surrounded,/ A house filled with laughter, but/ Today I feel blue Under darkest shroud/ These green eyes find no sunshine/ Not today at least Force another breath This impenetrable funk And me stuck in it Static in my head/ A sound no one else can hear/ And I can’t escape It’s a feeling blue For no good goddamn reason Sucky kind of day Disconnected from all Desperation rules my head The world seems too small
Blake Garner
2020-09-12 06:42 pm
You would not believe your eyes If you seen all the dark thoughts, I keep at tide inside my head If only that was true, I can no longer control these racing thought, I'm a danger to myself I've succumb to pain, I've felt numb for too long I inflict pain to just feel something, Thoughts constantly racing Never a chance to think straight, I've found a healthy affliction In the pain I inflict upon myself, I can feel it now Like cardiac arrest, The slip of the chair The tension around my neck, Ill try my best, The pull of the blade Against my wrist, I've been trying my best How much do I invest, Before its all over No longer numb, My Demons They catch me when I slip, Motor control loss Mindless acts, Just a permanent solution To a temporary feeling, Exactly how long is temporary All i want is for this living nightmare to be over, These demons consuming me alive Fighting is no longer a solution, Don't stop me now I know now noone would shed a tear, Noone would shutter a sound To stop me, Forget yesterday I dont wanna see tomorrow, Remember when you told me That I was better off dead, I knew it from the start I was never any good to anyone, You can believe it When im not here tomorrow, Today I find something great Today I find a Healthy Affliction.
crybaby
2020-08-20 11:26 am
im literally dying, dying, dying, dying i just wanna give up crying, crying, crying. it’s cold in my room it looks like a tomb, it’s cold in the house all the people are out hiding from each other not like those ideal lovers we’re cold without a warm hearted spouse. you’re shouting those words i wish ive never heard everybody is hurt and left in the dirt. for who is it good and why is it useful that we don talk the way we used to? im literally dying, dying, dying, dying i just wanna give up crying, crying, crying. but i just cant, cuz im in tears, i have many fears we wont talk for years. i wanna speed up the time to help healing the scares. it’s such a fucking shame, tomorrow’s valentine’s day we should be having fun but i guess it’s over now cuz we dont love the same oh what a shame. it’s shit being alone so darken your clothes and shut up your thoughts it’ll be better in months but who really knows? who really knows?
Gord
2020-08-19 01:37 am
Modern artist, face the mirror, Not closet drama, faceless killers. Lost in waves of wonder, Are we not just slave for silver? Target markets, water watchers, Ask Martin Arnold: Do cranial ridges game the system, Worship quantum like heart of darkness? Bonnet drama, Common knowledge, Copper dollars, Collared scholar, Blame the victim.
Steven Delvin
2020-08-10 12:32 pm
Rejoice O' Dear Pilgrim's Steven Delvin Mututo Muturi Rejoice! Rejoice! My heart sings. It's proud,quite a revolt, Overwhelmed by high spirits. Best better made choice's_ So proud of this feeling- As not one can default_ Of all it truly seeks. Fighting the wars, merely won on the past_ previous Escapade's, On the truces of truth. Stands firm and tall, Relatively all along. A positive mentalist, A determined mindset, A humble individual_ Highly dedicated And fully determined Having negativism eradicated. Despite how it all looks, Sophistically complicated I have all my wills, Precious bills to be initiated. A focused soul. Doing the best to shake off, All the shackles of darkness Profuse dark need's_ No Hope mentality, Out of our every human borne Off the transgress, Of life's worst enemy's, That kill's hopes in life. On very self individuals, I try to wipe it all out Erasing all its crooked details_ Engraved wildly on many A blurred people's life. The negatively emotional Wrath stained life's invoice Much a strain to many. Just dearly,do hear my voice. As in your personalised mails, I will send some by the rails Tagging along recorded clips_ Mine own recorded voice Blended with messages of hope The best percussionist's theme With a perfect rhyming scheme With a Hope streams beat sets A perfect blend rhythm. Rejoice! Oo' ye' Brethren. Son's and Daughter's, Of the very Most High. Let out your faint sigh's, Relax your panting, The gulping gasps, And rest all your worries- Along the wicked fears, To the reign of the supreme On the kingdom of the Most High, Our Holy God. Lay off,Yours all earthly burdens And soar again- As a new soul, A new being_ Divinely borne Blended in Holiness's. Cast out your eyes And settle them over, The glittering sigh post_ With glittery letters of Gold, That's so clear on sight. A message of Hope, To us all- So loosen your grips_ And firm holds off the ropes, That tags,drags along The petty dark burdens Of our own pretty pasts. Embark on a Divine journey- The very new noble course, And progress with pilgrimage_ An affirmative programme, Cruising mast vast mileages Crossing many boundaries, Past many a villages, Across the horizons, Preaching the Gospel. Touching along lives. New hopes,new things Great achievements And magnificent endeavors, To people's you truly spell_ For a new life- All can spell, Walking in new Grace's New righteous traces, To the very far end..
Gord
2020-06-18 02:23 am
I wrote the list upon my hand, because I was wont to forget. Memory was always a weakness, since birth I assume. I had since then learnt to cope. Would it rain? I wasn't sure, but I would be ready if it did. "Ready to go?" I heard a voice. I nodded, we were probably already late. It was dark outside, raining. The blacktop shimmered with the small bit of dwindling light that escaped through the clouds. The day was early but the day already felt long, characteristic of the gloomy weather. I opened the door, however, to sunlight beaming in my front door. "Great! Looks like it cleared up outside!" but all I could hear was the ocean. The noise of waves tossing themselves on the shore was overwhelming, their loudness filling the air. "Are you alright?" I snapped back into reality. I assured myself I was fine, just lost in thought as usual. I tried to make myself more comfortable by focusing on the inviting weather, although I was visibly nervous. I felt like something bad was going to happen. My foot stepped to the concrete, bending the leather of my shoes and causing them to crease. We walk beside one another in a peaceful silence toward the bus stop, eyes trained on the puddles of the sidewalk. My foot lifted for another step and as it comes back down to reach the water, I felt a wind rush past. I looked up, and I found myself all alone. Once again, I felt the rain upon my face.
Gord
2019-07-19 11:45 am
To twitch and die, Filthy in my tiles, Robots see not I, For they have no eyes, No souls, nor desires. I could watch Shrek in the park, While people watch me, watching, Laughing at the audience. Kicking posts in the dark, Hoping to be on the bus, One they are kicked off, Pissed off, and drunk. I could flaunt, bereft of thought, While nobody watched, Like Portnoy says of the drums, A theater does not make it art, Simple beats touch their heart.
Gord
2019-01-15 03:31 pm
They ask for more free verse, Ironically I ask for freedom. Turn yourself, the sun faces west, Learn your self looking into distance, A poem of story, rhetoric important. He just tells of lions and beasts, Ire and deceit, lies succinct, Are my poems of heart not complete, Even if truth is too foolish to be? Future hard to see, a pence to me, Fences mended where darkness meet, A dense man where the larkin leap, Without them where would we be? A garbage heap, a fence two feet, A garbage pile, a fence of three, A garbage life, spend barking of time, Not mine but others, I covet. My duvet stained with oil, lovely, When was it worth more, white forlorn Or in a pile on the floor disgusting?
Gord
2018-08-21 11:26 am
Friends spoken to be millionaires paid, Mind hopeful, experience bar full, I'm hoping to get a millionaires pay, Friends along with, interiors vague. Though rhymes alone do not denote caste, They are like paste, or a paper, Clinging to the things we wish to frame. Like metal rods with a magnet lace, I walk back to my original place. Pens broken and arms folded in front, Mind hopelessly lost of useless knots. Life like a lark, but come too soon, So hopelessly lost, inside of dark, Heart fought and hard fought, And eventually the daybreak comes.
Karabo R
2018-07-15 03:03 pm
I am not my Faults I am not my Darkness I am not my Fears I am not my Chaos I am not my downfall I am not my Failure I am not my Regrets I am not my Mistakes I am not my Wrongs I am not my storms I am not my Difficult I am not my Sins I am not my Demons I am definitely not my Past but I am "ME" and that's all I am,all I have,all is,all that will..."Me" #Poetic Genetics _Karabo R
Gord
2017-12-27 10:00 am
Amateur poet, ultimate, Heroic, stoic, slowest, Everything rhymed about, Hopeful of inchoate. Chum of the lake, think, Who is the wake for? Dead men living pale, or those living, Mouth agape, ailing, Flailing their limbs, Scene akimbo, Fare unanswered, Meter fake. So they take what is mine, Question pondered, What is life plastered? Humanity mastered, Time honored, or is it a last laugh, before dying afterward? Poets lie yet find alms, Measured footsteps bald, Words lifelessly clever, Heart hard to hold palm; Old arms to old arms, Adages stolen loved upon; Bard holy, arch golden, To carve lonely, Barns beholden, Nothing nobel. Par normally, like poultry, To starve colts. Ark art, Swan gone, Dark garb, lark fawned, Opposite of his mind, He finds laughter, Chapter after chatter, Chancellor gone; He defines pattern, An afterthought.
The Sophist
2017-08-06 06:07 pm
Weekends in the park Played all around the bay Rarely bearing witness To a mending of the cages Yet on and on we play Running through the fields Making treasures out of nothing When we see new holes appear We rarely fill them up Digging with our heels Making new rules as the game unfolds Developing new fears It's been going for years, you know In the middle of the day Weekends in the park Played all around the bay Rarely bearing witness To a mending of the cages We play it in the dark In the middle of the day The weather's never perfect Yet on and on we play Cageball is an art, a craft, and a wonderful game
Gord
2017-06-20 04:22 pm
Cardinal decision, Restitution fuzzy, Life full of miracles, Nothing mastered, Poor left darkened, Prone to hazard; Forlorn and fozzie, Smoking hashish, Life form conclusion, Pride malarkey; Doors departing. Forms of might solvent, Parted fighting. Assets from god mighty, A surety found apartide; Their bond broken, Kids bong smoking; Dressed down in a skirt, In a world of blue jeans; Beavers and loons still fighting.
Gord
2017-05-23 12:00 am
The moon meets the earth. Gravity failing, Dirt flailing, Stars in distance waver, Their faith imitation. Full life intimation, Planets align, Languishing minds desire, Darkness within fire, Which tapers and eventually dies. So hope your hero pursues ire, Producing a more temperate climate. Men forged in water, Are Birthed in peace. And Forget their place, Yet say their piece.
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