2022-03-23 11:45 am
I smear vaseline in the corners of my mouth with a cotton swab to seal the cracks that are carved there
from smiling too wide
from laughing too loud
from speaking my mind.
I smudge the nails on my hands with paint, pearlescent and pink
to keep from moving
to keep from creating
to keep from fully living.
I confine myself to an apple and egg whites each day to mold by body
into what I see in waiting room magazines
into what it was when I was a child
into something impossible.
how futile, it seems, to meter my joy, to suppress the wind.
because, when one tries to obstruct what rightfully will pass,
it gains strength, channels down one slim canyon,
and blows everyone away.